How to Survive the Texas Summer

Well, everyone kept talking about this SW Texas heat. I’ve been wondering when it would show up. 90 degrees hasn’t been too terrible. Well, here it is…


Average of about 100 is a bit much for me. But sometimes I forget that I lived in Hangzhou, China for 2 years, which is considered one of the 5 furnaces of China. So I can handle San Antonio, right?

Here’s my tips so far for surviving the heat. I’ve learned these things quickly.

1) Always walk in the shade when possible.
– This helps avoid the sun’s blistering rays, especially right after leaving your air-conditioned workplace. Walk under the trees, slink in the shadow of that annoyingly oversized pickup truck, and do strange zig zags through the parking lot if needed. Your co-workers might question your sobriety, but, let’s be honest, they were probably already doing that anyway.

2) Don’t touch your steering wheel while driving.
– I’ll admit; this one is tricky. However, no one enjoys having their fingerprints melted off by that hot plastic. (If you’re a parolee and have been wondering how to accomplish this feat, you didn’t hear it from me.) I have not quite mastered this one yet. I’m still at the fingertip driving stage, but I’ll get there by the end of the summer.

3) Don’t ever leave your house.
– This one is like West Virginia in the winter. Stay inside a lot and resume your life in the spring. I’ve been told that April is the end of the nice season here and then festivals and outdoor activities will pick up again in September or October. I will look forward to wearing shorts on Thanksgiving Day, but, until then, I’m staying inside with my $249 electricity bill.

4) Drink lots of sweet tea.
Duh. We’re in Texas, y’all.

I hope these new-to-Texas tips will help you make it through the summer heat. Is it hot where you live? What kinds of things do you do to avoid burning alive?