Ok…I’ll Bite.

Do you ever get the e-mails that are very obviously scams? Of course you do. I usually just delete them, but today I thought it would be fun to examine it.

Here is it without my comments first:

Hello Friend,

Good day to you and to your well wishers. I sent an email to you few months ago about my business project after the death of my families and I hope you are still alive. I am Ms. Rose William who contacted you on a business project which you turn down do to internet scam and you never take me seriously, I want to inform you that after the grace of God, I have claim the 250kgs of the gold dust and the $25Million dollars from the bank and I drop you a cheque with Mr. Jacques Hans have you receive the $1.2Million dollars cheque from him?

I have contacted you before and I am very busy with my other project since the mercy of God came upon my life in December and I left Republic of Benin so let know if you have receive the cheque because since my arrival in another country, I have no good access to internet. So once again, I re-confirm his details address below.

Mr. Jacques Hans

C/102, Sikecodji, Cotonou, Benin Republic

Email: hanslawoffice@yahoo.fr

E-mail: onlyhansj@gmail.com

Phone:             + 229 66 03 24 37      

I will not be time to check my mail untill march and I have giving your name to him so contact him immediately you receive this message and happy new year.

Best Regards,

Ms. Rose William.

And here’s with my comments:

Hello Friend, (We aren’t friends. I don’t even know you!)

Good day to you and to your well wishers. (My well wishers? What does that even mean? ) I sent an email to you few months ago (You did? Drats! That one must have went directly to my spam.) about my business project after the death of my families (how many families did you have?) and I hope you are still alive. (Yo lady, just because I didn’t answer your first e-mail don’t go assuming I’m dead!)  I am Ms. Rose William who contacted you on a business project which you turn down do(due?) to internet scam and you never take me seriously (how dare I?!), I want to inform you that after the grace of God, I have claim the 250kgs of the gold dust (gold dust, huh?) and the $25Million dollars from the bank and I drop you a cheque with Mr. Jacques Hans have you receive the $1.2Million dollars cheque from him? (Of course I received that, dear. Duh. That’s why I’m currently riding in style in a Mazda.)

I have contacted you before and I am very busy with my other project since the mercy of God came upon my life in December and I left Republic of Benin (Yes, I had to Google this place. It’s in Africa.) so let know if you have receive the cheque (I love the British English!)  because since my arrival in another country, I have no good access to internet. So once again, I re-confirm his details address below.

Mr. Jacques Hans

C/102, Sikecodji, Cotonou, Benin Republic (If you Google this address, you know the first thing that comes up? “Ghana suspicious gold mining web sites.” Sounds promising, right?) 

Email: hanslawoffice@yahoo.fr

E-mail: onlyhansj@gmail.com

Phone:             + 229 66 03 24 37      

I will not be time to check my mail untill march and I have giving your name to him so contact him immediately you receive this message and happy new year.

Best Regards,

Ms. Rose William.

One time I actually e-mailed someone like this back just for kicks.  They didn’t reply again or send any gold dust. 😦 

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One thought on “Ok…I’ll Bite.

  1. Jacques Hans, huh? I’ve been getting those as well, but from Hans Jacques.
    The English is appalling, and I love how everybody in these little stories has an incredibly fake sounding name. Two first names, one French and one German. Hello sir or madam, my name is Engr. Tom Mikhail and I can has a bridge to selling you.
    I feel more rich already.

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