They constantly say things like “I’m so sad right now. “or “I can’t believe that just happened.” , but they never actually say why they’re so sad or what just happened. Are they trying to be mysterious or just annoying? If you’re gonna bring something up, you’ve got to actually tell us about it!
Sometimes when I log into Facebook, I can’t figure out who anyone is, because they all have profile pictures of their children. I’m just like, who’s that again? Oh. Oh yeah. Ok. And every status update is about the kid- Baby Joey just made a mess in his diaper. Cindy just ate chicken nuggets for lunch. Or baby so-and-so is grumpy today. Maybe I’ll understand this more when I’m a parent. But probably not.
Do you have a friend that tells you every single thing they do during the day? They wake up and their status says “Well, going to take a shower, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and then go to work.” Exciting huh? One hour later- “Work is lame today. I’m going running after work, then I’m going to cook dinner and watch a movie.” Save the status updates for something a bit more exciting or I’ll hide you. No, that’s not a threat. It’s a promise.
This Facebook friend is really good at being cliché. “The sun WILL come out tomorrow.” and “Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.” Or how about the ever-popular “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”? I am obsessed with quotes, but a cliché one every day? No thanks.
Video dude is your friend that posts 15 videos a day. I mean, I like music videos, and I like to share new artists with my friends, so I’ll put a new one up every 2 or 3 weeks. But this facebook friend puts up several new videos every day. Does he know that people don’t actually watch these videos? He must, because every once in a while he’ll say, “If you never watch any of the videos I post, you HAVE to watch this one!” Nope. Still not gonna watch it!
Hopefully you didn’t read this blog post and get offended because you realized that you are one of the top 5 most annoying Facebook users. Now’s your chance to change! You can stop doing poopy diaper updates and stop posting videos of Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio because it was your favorite music video in 7th grade. It’s never too late to change!